Reel Lessons: Dark Shadows

We take a look at the latest collaboration between Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.
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Johnny Depp's latest incarnation: Barnabas Collins
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<div style="text-align: left;"> Johnny Depp's latest incarnation: Barnabas Collins </div>

Bet you can't relate this soapy Tim Burton film based on the cult 1960s US TV show to banking.
Bet you I can. Let's kickoff with...hmm... a blood-sucking vampire...

Moving swiftly on. Tim Burton has a thing for Johnny Depp it seems.
Quite. He's appeared in seven of his movies so far. Despite his inability to hold a note, he even played the lead role in Sweeney Todd. Clearly a fan.

Clearly.
And with good reason. Apart from the good looks and ropey vocal chords, ol' Johnny boy has pulled in more than $8 billion at the box office globally in his career. Beats banking.

If you say so. But did the movie make money?
It appears so, yes. Costing $150 million to produce, the film has raked in $238 million to date. Johnny, you've done it again.

Clap Clap. So what's it about?
The film tracks the life of Barnabas Collins as he makes the fateful decision to spurn the advances of Angelique Bouchard (Eva Green), his servant and, as it turns out, a rather vengeful witch who responds by killing his true love. She turns him into a vampire and shoves him into a coffin for 200 years until he escapes to find the family-run fishing business and gothic estate in ruin. Worse, he returns to 1972.

Some people get all the luck.
Don't worry, the anachronistic Collins finds a way to get the girl, wreak revenge on the witch (after some steamy sex) and bring the business back to its former glory.

Wow. Does this guy have any flaws?
Well, he is a member of the undead. And depending on your disposition, Collins also has selective taste, preferring to feast off stoned hippies and construction workers to sate his appetite.

White collar types are off the menu?
So it seems. Although this is a coastal Maine town, so there were very few City boys to prey on. Still, you could argue the hours you guys put into banking, you'd have to already be a member of the undead.

Enough of the vampire/ banker analogies, thank you.
Just saying...

So, how does he get the business back up and running? Through good old fashioned hard graft?
Of course not. Collins uses his hypnotic powers to lure the best skippers in town to work his ships. Just some wiggling of the fingers will do it.

Ha! I knew it. No backbone.
Well, Bouchard is his chief competitor and she clearly has no problem using witchcraft to get  what she needs done. It seems she has little choice. The greying board members of her firm are limp, lacklustre and have no understanding of the industry.

Aren't they all like that?
I shouldn't comment... But yes.

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